1 . SICKNESS: This is not allowed under any circumstances. We will no longer accept your doctors statement as proof of illness. If you can walk to the doctor you can certainly get to work .
2 . DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN : You must arrange to attend all funerals very late in the day after your work is done. Providing this is adhered to we will consider letting you go 1 hour earlier. Please be sure to put this in writing.
3 . DEATH, YOUR OWN : This is acceptable as an excuse, But we would like at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job. Treat this point as important.
4 . PERSONAL HYGIENE: We will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those with surnames beginning with "A" will be able to go from 9-9.05 and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time you must wait until the next day when your time comes around again.
5 . QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you’ll never do enough.
6 . QUALITY OF WORK : The minimum acceptable level is perfection at all times.
7 . ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live frog the first thing in the morning and certainly nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.
8 . THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT: Even in his absence.
9 . WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG REFER TO RULE 8.