Men & Women....




 A successful man is one who makes more money than 

   his wife can spend.



 A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



 A man is a person who will pay two dollars for a 

   one-dollar item he wants.



 A woman is one who will pay one dollar for a 

   two-dollar item that she doesn't want.



 To be happy with a man you must understand him 

   a lot and love him alittle.



 To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot

   and not try to understand her at all.

 

 Marriage: 

 

 A woman marries a man expecting he will

   change, but he doesn't.



 A man marries a woman expecting that she won't 

   change and she does. A woman worries about

   the future until she gets a husband, while

   a man never worries about the future until he 

   gets a wife.  



 There are two times when a man doesn't understand

   a woman; before marriage  -  and after marriage.



 Husbands: Only two things are necessary to keep 

   one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is 

   having her own way, and the other is to let her

   have it.



 Married men live longer than single men, but 

   married men are a lot more willing to die.



 Any married man should forget his mistakes - 

   no use two people remembering the same thing.



 The Battle: A woman has the last word in any

   argument. Anything a man says after that is the

   beginning of a new argument






 Friendship Between Women:

 A woman didn't come home one night.
 The next day she told her husband that she had slept 
 over at a girlfriend's house.
 The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of 
 them knew anything about it.
 
 
 Friendship Between Men:

 A man didn't come home one night.
 The next day he told his wife that he had slept over
 at a buddy's house.
 The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. 
 Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over,
 and two claimed that he was still there.





 Men & Women



 Smart man + smart woman = romance

 Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 Dumb man + smart woman = affair

 Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage



 Smart boss + smart employee = profit

 Smart boss + dumb employee = production

 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



 WORDS WOMEN USE:

 FINE 
 This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right 
 and you need to shut up. 
 
 FIVE MINUTES 
 If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only 
 five minutes if you have 
 just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around 
 the house. 

 NOTHING 
 This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you 
 should be on your toes. 
 Arguments  that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine" 
 
 GO AHEAD 
 This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it. 
 
 LOUD SIGH 
 This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often 
 misunderstood by men. 
 A "Loud Sigh"  means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she 
 is wasting her time  standing here and arguing  with you over "Nothing" 

 THAT'S OKAY 
 This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make 
 to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard 
 before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 

 THANKS 
 A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say
 you're welcome. 

 WHATEVER 
 It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU! 


| Home | Fun | Cool Links | Photo Album | Music | Java | Poem | Search | About Me |
Copyright 1997-2017 Saleem Haddad All Rights Reserved.
Tel 886-2-2656-2688, E-Mail saleem@saleem.ws